Growing Pains - Reflecting on 2013

I know we're not quite to the end of 2013 yet, but we are certainly in the home stretch! Thanksgiving will be upon us in just a couple of days, and Christmas will come in on its heels. I'm busy doing hair, I'm busy selling jewelry. But in the midst of it all, it is inevitable for me to become reflective this time of year, which I don't think is a bad thing by any means!

My word for this year was "Thrive" A couple months ago I felt as if I was doing anything but thriving, but recently I realized that I was looking at it in all the wrong way! I truly feel that God led me in choosing this word, but He had a very different idea of what it would mean than I did!

On March 7, in one of my Thriving Thursday posts I said this

Thriving to me means watching my clientele at Rock Paper Scissors Salon grow. It means watching my Origami Owl business start to take off. It means watching myself grow and learn new things.

As I struggled through the months, fighting depression, feeling overwhelmed by housework, and struggling with not really wanting to do anything (just being honest here); I was also reading, journaling, praying, and soul searching. It became a year of quiet, solitude, and really digging deep into who I am and where I'm going. I kept wishing, though, I could just get it and CLICK be done, be great at housework, time management, getting things done...everything. I wanted passion, fire in my belly. I wanted to want to get out of my solitude. But it didn't happen. The struggle continued.

"I'm supposed to be THRIVING, but I just can't seem to get a handle on ANYTHING!"

But then, one day as I re-visited the definition of Thrive, I realized I was wanting this:

1. to prosper; be fortunate or successful.

But this is what was happening:

2. to grow or develop vigorously; flourish:

I realized that even through all my guilt at not being a domestic goddess, even through all my feelings of inadequacy, God has been moulding me, shaping me, preparing me for something BIG for Him. Maybe it was even because of my feeling small that He was able to work in me.

"That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."  2 Corinthians 12:10 

So what's the take-home from this?

As a kid, what happens when you go through a growth spurt? You have growing pains. Just because it is painful doesn't mean you're not growing. Quite the opposite, really, the more pain the more growth is happening.

So when you go through a time when you just feel like you can't get your head above water (and you will) and can't get a grip on anything, just remember to keep looking to God, keep trusting Him. Though it may not seem like it at the time, He does know what He's doing, and whatever He's doing is For. Your. Good. You can count on that!

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." 

Romans 8:28